Playing Well With Others by Lee Harrington

The intimacy and vulnerability inherent in exposing and acting on wants and desires increases the importance of appropriate etiquette. The variety of kink is as endless as the human imagination. Harrington and Williams suggest the journey into kink begins with yourself – why are you interested, what are you looking for? Although sex is not required in BDSM play, even non-sexual play is intimate and makes the participants vulnerable. Playing Well With Others is a self-help, how-to, etiquette book in the very best possible way. They thoroughly cover how to prepare for and handle a wide variety of settings and circumstances. They bust common myths about BDSM and the kink community, and provide more accurate information. They break down the kinds of gatherings you might search for, and what you might expect to find there. Harrington and Williams’ book presents a reality based world in which there are all kinds of people, who will look a lot like the people in your community, except that in certain venues they might be wearing fetishwear, or nothing at all. Everybody is having amazing sex all the time. All the women are gorgeous, even if they think they are fat. All the men are ridiculously good looking, successful, and wealthy. Here’s what you might expect to find if you went to a kinky club after reading a bunch of BDSM romance: most of the women are, unbeknownst to them, submissive and just waiting for the right dominant man to show them what they really need. The BDSM Romance genre is to BDSM as the Historical Romance genre is to historical fact. I didn’t read “50 Shades of Gray,” so I can’t comment on the accuracy of its portrayal of BDSM. The authors, both highly respected in the kink community, present their information in a manner that is kind, funny, knowledgable and straight forward. The full title of the book is “Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring, and Navigating the Kink, Leather, and BDSM Communities.” This is the book we need in a post-“50 Shades of Gray” world.

Playing Well With Others by Lee Harrington